Unleash the Authentic Woman in You – Faey Szeuw

Ever feel cluttered by old beliefs? When you try on a new belief (e.g. affirmations) it feels like you’re just masking over what’s already there. Like trying to redecorate in a room full of junk.

I’m excited because I found a way to rewrite our future! First step is throwing out the clutter. You’ll finally enjoy  affirmations and reaching your goals because all that mess will be out of your way. Ready to play and paint a fresh new life? Let’s start with a clean canvas…

According to Dave Logan and Steve Zaffron’s book “3 Laws of Performance: Rewriting the Future of Your Organization and Your Life“ we can pinpoint our stuck beliefs and erase them. How do we do this? First we take a deep look at WHY we’re keeping our fixed belief rolling. Why we’re keeping this alive when we know it is sabotaging our growth and who we CAN become.

Let’s do this step-by-step:

1. Ask what are the PAYOFFS? In other words, what are you gaining by playing these stories over and over again. How are you benefiting from them? In what ways do you think you’re gaining from living with this belief?

For example, say I tell myself I am fat. By doing this, my payoffs are:
- I can eat whatever I want
- I don’t have to be responsible for others because I got myself to take care off
- I get to be lazy
- I can watch movie or do whatever I want instead of using the time to exercise
- I get the attention or sympathy
- I don’t have to feel
- I don’t have to be responsible for my health
- I don’t have to learn
- I can keep telling others my stories
- I feel I have the right to complain that I am fat
- And maybe for so some odd reason, you feel you have the reason to relate with others…

Just keep listing all the thoughts and statements that are coming up, don’t judge it…list all of them until you have no more or you experience it is complete for you.

2. What are the COSTS? And list all the things that are coming up for you that are harming you. By telling and living this fixed belief or habit what is it costing you? How is it hurting you in your life?

For instance, telling myself I am fat:
- I am hurting my own self image
- I create more hatred for me and my body image
- I am getting more lazy
- I see myself less
- I feel defeated
- I am tired a lot
- I go out less
- I eat more
- I make poorer food choices
- I make more excuses
- I move away from my goal of gaining a healthier lifestyle
- I have more fear
- I am sad
- I dislike myself, etc.

Again, keep listing all the costs until you have no more.

This will take as long as you need. Some people take only a few minutes to do this while others takes days. It depends highly on you, whether if this is a deep issue for you. The goal here is to bring all the “STUFF” out so you can see pass all the veils that’s hiding these sabotaging thoughts. Look at all perspective, at its naked core and see why you keep doing what you are doing up to this point. Until then, can we truly sever the cord that binds us to these self defeating thoughts, beliefs, and old habits.

When we fully bring awareness  to all the reasons we think we do these things, why we feel we have to do it…we can finally reveal the truth for what it is and see how detriment this habit or belief is to us and our progress toward who we want to be. And finally cut the the cord.

Got bad habits you need to break? Helpful article from T Mcdonald showing you 5 simple steps to changing an unwanted habit.

Breaking Bad Habits – 5 Simple Steps for Changing a Habit

By T Mcdonald

“Good habits are hard to develop but easy to live with” and “Bad habits are easy to develop but hard to live with”, according to Brian Tracy, a well-known motivational teacher. You may recognize that to successfully manage habit changes, breaking bad habits may be required in order to develop new ones.

Breaking bad habits takes at least 21 days. Of course, in difficult cases, it can take as long as a year. Here’s an example of the process of how to change an unhealthy habit to a healthy habit. Suppose you’ve decided that coffee is not good for you and right now, you drink coffee with sugar daily. The new habit you would like to institute is to drink herbal tea without sugar.

At first, it may be challenging to break the bad habit of drinking coffee. You will have to use self-discipline for the first few weeks but gradually it will get easier. Once you are able to change the old habit to a new healthier one, it will serve you very well. Habits are remarkable because they don’t require thinking. You just “do it” for years until you find yourself changing the habit again.

Here are 5 easy steps for changing habits:

1. Awareness: You must become aware of your habits. What is this habit exactly? How is this bad habit or group of bad habits affecting you? How is this habit affecting others? For example, smoking often has negative effects on others as well as on you.

2. Wanting to Change: As someone with a health problem, you must decide that breaking bad habits through a conscious effort is a worthy goal. You must convince yourself that the change in the habit is worth the effort involved.

3. Commitment: You must be determined to do whatever it takes for breaking bad habits so that you can better control your life. You make a decision that “no matter what” you will change the habit. You do the work required to stop. Here are some examples of habits you might want to change: Smoking, eating too much, eating processed foods, not exercising, drinking coffee or other beverages with caffeine in them, eating too much sugar or fat, drinking alcohol, procrastinating, etc.

4. Consistent Action: It is important to focus on changing just one habit at a time. Then, take consistent daily actions for breaking the bad habit that has been causing problems and take the actions to develop a new one. We suggest doing this process one step at a time rather than trying to do it all at once. Sometimes changing a habit can be done “cold turkey” like smoking and sometimes it works better to make a gradual change.

Be sure to give yourself positive rewards often for taking small actions toward changing a bad habit. Continual day-by-day actions are what are critical. This is NOT about an occasional action or step. It is about being consistent every day.

5. Perseverance: There will be times when you question whether it is all worth it. You’ll say to yourself that breaking these bad habits is too difficult; that you are too “weak” to change. Your old self, often so comfortable living with the bad habits, is trying to hold on. Breaking your old patterns may require meditation and prayer.

Visualize regularly the rewards for following through and the costs of not following through on breaking the bad habits and especially the value to your future of building new better habits.

Get support from others, especially other people who want to make changes in their lives and read about people who have been successful in breaking bad habits. Affirm that, no matter what, you will not backslide into your old bad habit patterns.

Now, you are armed with a 5-step process for breaking any bad habit or other condition that requires changing. If you have an addiction to something such as alcohol, these steps alone may not be enough. You may require additional professional help or a support group, but for most cases this 5-step process will do the trick!

T. McDonald is a lifelong student of inner growth and a writer. She edits Diabetes Guide where you will find information on the glycemic index diet, weight loss, diets, managing diabetes, alternative sweeteners, breast cancer bracelets, how to prevent breast cancer and much more.

Copyright 2005 T. McDonald

Read article: How to ReWRITE Your Future