Unleash the Authentic Woman in You – Faey Szeuw

Detox Your Life

By David Salmon

A detox supposedly re-vitalizes you and brings renewed energy and vigour. Thinking about it further, I moved on to apply this to external toxins. All those negative people, places and things in our lives can build up to a toxic level that takes away our energy in the same way.

Negative energy can be very tiring. We all know somebody negative who leaves us feeling drained after only a few minutes conversation. If you have somebody like that in your life you need to get rid of them or at least protect yourself from them, if that is impossible. You don’t want to lose all your energy being around someone who drains you emotionally or mentally whenever you are with them. A long time ago I stopped meeting up with an old friend who had become increasingly negative and seemed determine to undermine me at any opportunity. I felt bad breaking off our friendship but felt very relieved when I did. I hadn’t realized how much our weekly meetings had drained me of energy.

Avoid negative environments in the same way. You cannot work well in a hostile environment. If it drains your energy then you need to find a new place to work, before you reach exhaustion levels. Get rid of objects that don’t support you too: the computer that crashes regularly, the car that won’t start, the blunt razor, the computer chair that kills your back. All of these things cause stress that is unnecessary. Make sure that your environment and all the things in it support you, so that you can be your best.

Detox your life by getting rid of anything and anyone that drains your energy. If you cannot get rid of them then find a way of protecting yourself from their negative energy. You deserve to be supported in your life. Negative energy is the very opposite of what you need. Don’t let anyone or anything steal your vital life energy from you with their negativity. Life is too short for that.

Have you ever come to a crossroad where if you continue on what you’re doing, things are just going to get worse? But if you make that one uncomfortable right turn, things will shift and life will change for the better. How many times have you hit that divided pathway in your life? And deep down you know changing would required you to move heaven and earth as you know it to something completely different and even unknown.

Whether it’s our diet, relationships, adopting a new paradigm, or a new habit that better served us in the long run; I’ve learned most of us don’t just change for the heck of changing. We change when pain or great suffering is knocking on our door. That’s the majority of us human. Some of us have to hit rock bottom to recognize we can’t sink any deeper into our own demise. The sharp bitter stings of pain and suffering now forced us to take drastic action and CHANGE.

It’s when we are lost deep down in this abyss that there’s no other way out but to crawl right back up this dark crevasse. We are FORCE against our will to challenge and question our long kept paradigms. The hope is we eventually realize, “Hey, this way of thinking and doing thing is getting me nowhere.” And we begin to find new habits and paradigms that better serve us in our current life situation.

Changes are hard, I know. I don’t think anyone actually expect you to make the drastic transformation successfully overnight. Even the individuals that succeeded in such transitions, did so because they changed by slowly replacing one old habit for a more healthy beneficial habit. They did it one by one over a period of time.

It has been reiterated by many that it takes 21 days to adopt a new habit –for it to really sink in and be part of you.

So how do we know which habits to take in? And what changes we need? That is entirely up to each individual. For our needs and desire are personal to each of us and only we can really know what we want. But one thing, I am sure of is that we basically see what others are doing that is in agreement with us, and if we like this new mindset, ideas, habits, or type of action and it’s beneficial to our well being–we then adopt them into our own life.

The questions you have to ask yourself are:

• What do I really WANT?
• Am I willing to change?
• Am I serious about it?
• Am I willing to do what it takes?

Then give it a 100%. Things can really start to happen. And if you find yourself falling off the bandwagon, just hop back on. As long as you are moving forward, you are making progress.

I was walking around the mall… And you know those independent merchant carts… They’re always luring unsuspected suckers in for free samples. I noticed I feel obligated to buy things after trying the free thing. Eeehhh, huh?

Surprisingly, after taking a deep look into my history of buying junk, I discovered I buy BECAUSE of this “law of reciprocity”. Someone gives me a free sample, then I feel like I HAVE to buy something from them.

How many times have you bought something that you didn’t really want but felt obligated? You just didn’t want to seem like you were inconveniencing them…

I fell prey to this technique one too many times. I ended up with restaurant meals I wasn’t entirely satisfied with – Clothes and shoes I didn’t want – Costly natural nail polish – Mineral makeups – More than enough memberships at places I didn’t really need – Books I didn’t read – Things I didn’t even use!

I remember one time where I was strolling around the mall with my fiance… I knew I would buy something if I had my credit cards with me so I left them at home and only had a twenty in my pocket.

Surprisingly, after this salesgirl gave me all this attention and being dabbled by all this new exotic Japanese cosmetic elixir that claimed to make my skin smoother, younger, beautiful and flawless…

I looked at my fiance and ask to borrow HIS card! Of course, I paid him back. But isn’t that just ridiculous! Ended up charging $157.37 dollars on HIS visa!

With knowing my kryptonite (free stuff), I can be more aware of these traps. So now I am actually practicing saying more “NO’s”. It’s a bit of a challenge but I feel good.

It’s nice to have values (and not personally step on them). I can still change my mind.

So beware of FREE. You might end up with your values tangling you up inside.

If you do get tangled up… Remember most decisions can be revised (especially if someone’s trying to sell you stuff).

What better way to conquer your fear than to face it head on.

Confession: I’m not entirely fearful of heights but I get a bit light around very tall building; especially hanging on the very edge of a 37th floor building!

It was like this for me when my fiance, sister, and I went on the SkyWalk. SkyWalk is a tourist attraction, where people can walk outside around the perimeter of the 37th floor of Crown Regency Hotel in Cebu, Philippines.

Being a brave soul that I am , I volunteered to be in front. Reason one being… no big heads or anyone is blocking my view up here. Just kidding! Any how, it was a bit frightening as I step outside onto the thin metal pathway. I can feel the height and the breeze blowing lightly against my body. (Thank goodness it is not a windy day.)

As I pass through the glass part of the pathway, I glanced down to view below. People were like ants and cars were like miniature toy that little boys play with. My heart beat faster and I could feel a bit of perspiration on my forehead.

Quite interestingly, once we finish the SkyWalk which only lasted 15 minutes; I felt disappointed it was over. I actually wanted to go one more round.

Much like our life, sometimes we just gotta face our fears heads on. Like the famous Les Brown quote, “When you face your fear, most of the time you will discover that it was not really such a big threat after all. We all need some form of deeply rooted, powerful motivation. It empowers us to overcome obstacles so we can live our dreams.”

Listen, if you’re a man reading my blog to learn about women… You can’t hide your roots with outer game – shiny objects and pick up techniques. If your foundation is weak and unstable, your house is going to crumble no matter how beautiful you decorate the exterior! Like a strong house, we must work on ourself from our foundation – our roots – if we want lasting change. Men and women, when we take care of our emotions our genuine self can shine into the world.

Ever come across someone who seems to have their stuff together. Fancy clothes, nice house, nice car, nice looking but as you hang out with them more and more… The person just doesn’t seem in alignment. Like a car that keeps veering to the right when you’re trying to go straight. They seem perfect but something is off. Of course no one is perfect (we all have stuff to sort through). But you can tell if someone is handling their life or it’s just pretense – a veneer.

These people are stuck pretending. The more you pretend to be something you’re not, the more likely you have stuff to work on. In other words, more inner game or inner work will help you let your authentic self shine through.

Take someone like Hugh Jackman for example. He is an Australian actor and producer who is involved in film, musical theatre, and television. He’s also an activist and philanthropist. A very well-rounded guy.

Just one look at him. His foundation is pretty well built. More solid than most. That’s an example of how you’ll show up in the world when you’ve handled your inner game. Very attractive, right?

Got bad habits you need to break? Helpful article from T Mcdonald showing you 5 simple steps to changing an unwanted habit.

Breaking Bad Habits – 5 Simple Steps for Changing a Habit

By T Mcdonald

“Good habits are hard to develop but easy to live with” and “Bad habits are easy to develop but hard to live with”, according to Brian Tracy, a well-known motivational teacher. You may recognize that to successfully manage habit changes, breaking bad habits may be required in order to develop new ones.

Breaking bad habits takes at least 21 days. Of course, in difficult cases, it can take as long as a year. Here’s an example of the process of how to change an unhealthy habit to a healthy habit. Suppose you’ve decided that coffee is not good for you and right now, you drink coffee with sugar daily. The new habit you would like to institute is to drink herbal tea without sugar.

At first, it may be challenging to break the bad habit of drinking coffee. You will have to use self-discipline for the first few weeks but gradually it will get easier. Once you are able to change the old habit to a new healthier one, it will serve you very well. Habits are remarkable because they don’t require thinking. You just “do it” for years until you find yourself changing the habit again.

Here are 5 easy steps for changing habits:

1. Awareness: You must become aware of your habits. What is this habit exactly? How is this bad habit or group of bad habits affecting you? How is this habit affecting others? For example, smoking often has negative effects on others as well as on you.

2. Wanting to Change: As someone with a health problem, you must decide that breaking bad habits through a conscious effort is a worthy goal. You must convince yourself that the change in the habit is worth the effort involved.

3. Commitment: You must be determined to do whatever it takes for breaking bad habits so that you can better control your life. You make a decision that “no matter what” you will change the habit. You do the work required to stop. Here are some examples of habits you might want to change: Smoking, eating too much, eating processed foods, not exercising, drinking coffee or other beverages with caffeine in them, eating too much sugar or fat, drinking alcohol, procrastinating, etc.

4. Consistent Action: It is important to focus on changing just one habit at a time. Then, take consistent daily actions for breaking the bad habit that has been causing problems and take the actions to develop a new one. We suggest doing this process one step at a time rather than trying to do it all at once. Sometimes changing a habit can be done “cold turkey” like smoking and sometimes it works better to make a gradual change.

Be sure to give yourself positive rewards often for taking small actions toward changing a bad habit. Continual day-by-day actions are what are critical. This is NOT about an occasional action or step. It is about being consistent every day.

5. Perseverance: There will be times when you question whether it is all worth it. You’ll say to yourself that breaking these bad habits is too difficult; that you are too “weak” to change. Your old self, often so comfortable living with the bad habits, is trying to hold on. Breaking your old patterns may require meditation and prayer.

Visualize regularly the rewards for following through and the costs of not following through on breaking the bad habits and especially the value to your future of building new better habits.

Get support from others, especially other people who want to make changes in their lives and read about people who have been successful in breaking bad habits. Affirm that, no matter what, you will not backslide into your old bad habit patterns.

Now, you are armed with a 5-step process for breaking any bad habit or other condition that requires changing. If you have an addiction to something such as alcohol, these steps alone may not be enough. You may require additional professional help or a support group, but for most cases this 5-step process will do the trick!

T. McDonald is a lifelong student of inner growth and a writer. She edits Diabetes Guide where you will find information on the glycemic index diet, weight loss, diets, managing diabetes, alternative sweeteners, breast cancer bracelets, how to prevent breast cancer and much more.

Copyright 2005 T. McDonald

Sometimes you can feel a little down for no particular reason. Or maybe you got into an argument with someone or you didn’t get what you wanted. Or perhaps you just woke up on the wrong side of the bed that day. Whatever it is, it’s crucial you get right back up as fast as you can. Not to sit and stay there too long.

Here are a few things you can do to bring yourself up to your higher optimal self. To get yourself feeling better pronto!

12 Things To Do To Keep You Feeling Happy:

1. Feel your emotions
2. Meditate
3. Take deep breaths
4. Exercise
5. Sing
6. Laugh
7. Go for a nice walk
8. Connect with nature
9. Socialize and talk with positive people
10. Spend time with children or animals
11. Do something unexpected and nice for someone
12. Do the things that give you joy

These are just some ideas. There are lots more. And you probably have more of your own on what you do that lifts you up. Whatever it is, as long as it is to your highest good and well-being, do it. Get up and get going. You have too much to live for to be feeling bad.

Be sure to leave me some of your tips below. What are some things you do that lifts your spirit and brings you joy?

I used to feel ashamed that my passion was getting fit and losing weight. I thought, I was being vain. That this was somehow such a selfish and small goal. That I was mean and I only care about myself. That I should be thinking about saving the world and helping others who are less fortunate than me.

Maybe that is true. I could be seen as selfish and only looking out for number one. But you know what, I realize the more I took care of myself, get my stuff together, and have a better outlook on life by creating and making healthier choices in my life –the more love is receive and flowing from within me. And this love overflows to others: to my family, friends, acquaintances, co-workers, and even strangers. I became more appreciative of things.

Let’s just say, by learning to love myself and take better care of me, my heart was able to shine brightly through without all that clutter in my mind…you know, those self defeating thoughts and doubts that beats you down.

This doesn’t always stay like this. I do get upset, sad, and even angry with the ups and downs life presents. The thing is, I have the option to feel the whole range of emotions and can change if I shall choose. I can feel the feelings that come up and allow it to flow through me. By becoming more aware of what I am feeling, I can do something about it and change. No longer do I feel like I’m a victim to my emotion and be pushed around like a pawn.

There are things I understand more about myself that allow me to bring more of me out and get to my highest optimal state. Move through unnecessary clutters and obstacles. And see the traps and steer away from them. It’s not the doom and gloom I once thought it was.

Your feelings about things can change and you are capable of changing your state. It’s sometimes hard to believe we are such a powerful person capable of sculpting our own life. But we are more amazing than we can ever sometimes believe or imagine.

A fresh year and a clean slate. A new canvas to paint the picture you want. To set your new goals and live the life you desire.

If not now, then when?

If you were anything like me, you probably listed too many things and most of it didn’t come true. More than likely you set too many goals or these goals weren’t congruent with who you are. And my guess is your attention was thinly spread all over the place.

Something I learned through my journey is to set one purpose goal. Steven DeVore called it your ‘macropurpose’. Your macropurpose is the big idea, your big goal –your main purpose. And as life changes and you develop, your macropurpose will change with you.

By having your macropurpose goal clear in mind, your path is clear for you. You know what to do to get there. Your journey becomes easier and you can just head straight there rather than zigzagging all over the place. This way you are laser focus and your attention, action, awareness, and energy are streamline to this one goal. I picked up this neat technique from Steven A. DeVore’s Sybervision: Neuropsychology of Self-Discipline audio program.

Let’s use a small example. Say if you’re in college trying to get your masters degree in psychology. You still have small goals along the way to accomplish before your get that certificate. You need to complete each of the required courses. And in each course, there’s the assignments and projects that you need to do. In every step of the way to your BIG GOAL, which is acquiring that degree in this case –you still have a series of small goals to meet.

Finding your big goal means finding out your passion that is in alignment with who you are and what you want in life. The thing you do that energizes you and makes you want to create even more. If you don’t quite know what your purpose is, take this time to sit down and really see what you do that comes naturally and easily. Things that you don’t have to tear down walls to do. And when you do this –things just flow, time just flies, and you’re most creative and joyful.

No matter what it is, it could be anything: traveling, cooking, painting, sewing, sailing, exercising, rock climbing, meditating, learning, teaching others about health, learning about nutrition, helping others, taking pictures, building meaningful relationships, making money, doing yoga, enjoying nature, doing business, and etc. It could be anything you love to do that is to your highest good and for your well being. That gives you that spark that makes your eyes twinkle when you tell others about it.

Whatever it is, find it. Only you know what it is that really makes you happy and give you that sense of fulfillment. Any of these routes can be your personal path to rediscovering you and finding that inner stillness that connects you to your true self.

It’s almost the end of the year and the new one is near. What to do and how to start it fresh.

Before the new year arrives, let’s get rid of the old stuff that don’t serve you anymore. Clean your place. Give the things that you no longer use and want away. Things that are just laying around in the corner, closets, and garage that are catching dust. Sell it if you can, but the main thing is wipe your slate clean of those stuff that aren’t you anymore so you can make room for the new things you want to come.

I love that scene in 2012 movie, where the Tibetan monk student was questioning his teacher. He just keep throwing out all sorts of “what if’s” and his teacher responded by pouring tea in his student’s cup. The teacher keep pouring and the cup is now filled to the brim and overflowing. The teacher’s lesson: How can anything new be heard, if your mind is already fulled.

Similar concept here, it’s hard for you to create new things easily when you are already filled with so much clutter and old junks that are blocking the way and taking up spaces. Your new goals and the new you have a much harder time to manifest in your life.

It’s a new beginning. Let’s start fresh with a clean slate.