Unleash the Authentic Woman in You – Faey Szeuw

One scene in “She’s Out Of My League” really stands out… After years of heart ache, Stainer dashes off to confront Tina Jordan at the hot dog stand and ask why she dumped him. In his mind he was a 6. She was a 10. Stainer wanted her to admit he wasn’t good enough and that’s why she dumped him.

Tina Jordan responded, “You’re plenty good enough for me…you were just never good enough for YOU.”

Doesn’t that just pinch you in some way?

The movie kept reminding me of Alex Allman’s profound speech given at the Man Transformation seminar. In it, he talks about finding your Total 10. Total 10 as Alex defines it, is someone who just makes you feel awesome. When you’re with your Total 10 you feel like letting the best version of yourself come out and play.

Hopefully, you’re your partner’s Total 10 as well.

In the movie, Kirk (Jay Baruchel) is an average guy who meets the “perfect” woman Molly (Alice Eve), his Total 10. She’s into him. He’s into her. So what’s the problem? His total lack of confidence.

Kirk “occurs” to himself as not being good enough.

Let me explain what I mean by “occurs”. I learned it’s used in this way from Dave  Logan and Steve Zaffron, the authors of “3 Laws of Performance: Rewriting the Future of Your Organization and Your Life“. Occurs simply means how you perceive yourself. For example, if you’re nice and friendly in social situations while in the back of your mind you feel insecure and awkward, then how you occur to yourself is as someone who is insecure and awkward around people but can mask it really well. Others may think you’re comfortable and easy to be around. Never the less, you occur to yourself as an awkward person.

Kirk occurred to himself as not being good enough which led to the belief Molly was out of his league. “How can someone like her possibly fall for me?”

It’s amazing how the way we occur to ourselves truly affects our life. Here’s a wonderful, smart, funny, sexy woman–who is interested in him and he just couldn’t see past the way he occurred to himself. Yes, he was kind of a pushover, but the fact was she found him attractive because he was her total 10 in the making.

Many of these beliefs are reinforced by the people we socialized with. As in Kirk’s case, when his friends started to measure his attractiveness to women…their ideas got lodge into his beliefs. He started seeing himself as a “5″ and somewhat of a loser and not deserving the girl or much of anything for that matter.

It shows just how crucial your social groups are and how much they can affect you.

[Spoiler Alert]

Good news is at the end he finally shifted his view of himself and started to think how much he could be…and because of that and his willingness to take action he was able to break free from how he “occur” to himself…and ESCAPE a life of misery where he only accept what others give him.

Because he realized he wanted something different and tired of this rut. He was able to open up the possibility of something much more. He started to believe he could be more…that he could BE a Total 10 for himself.

I just love the ending as they hop into the plane together and flies off. It shows he was willing to become the best version of himself. By learning to become a pilot he finally grabbed the bull by the horn and achieved his dream. This very act shows there’s hope for their relationship. They were both growing and supportive of each other’s dreams in the relationship.

Overall, a very entertaining and a beautiful movie!

… And be sure to come back next week as I share with you one of my favorite technique from some truly great minds on “How to REWRITE Your Future!” Cut off that cord connection to your fixed belief or habit that’s actually limiting your growth and progress to who you want to become.

Amazing Body Now: How To Lose Weight By Feeding And Nourishing Your Spirit (aka Andrea’s Answer) reminded me of first time I put on glasses. What I couldn’t see before finally became clear.

Seriously, I thought I knew about dieting and weight loss before reading this book…

Now, I can truly see pass the fad diets that promises INSTANT result at the cost of my health.

In a word, Andrea Albright’s book is simply amazing. Sure, lots of insights… But what was amazing was I could actually feel my whole body and mind shifting!

The book was simple and straight to the point. It was just like chatting with a best friend. I thought I was going to finish it in a week, but ended up taking 3 weeks.

Why?

This book is PACKED with valuable content. You’re not just reading for information. As you read it, it does an amazing thing. Like I mentioned earlier, it slowly shifts your way of thinking to more of a solution oriented kind of mind. You start seeing what and WHY you did things wrong and HOW to change and improve those things – naturally.

So as you go through the book, don’t worry if you, like me, need to take a break after a few pages. Each chapter is LOADED with information to change your perception of what health means for the better. So you may find yourself only devouring small chunks of it at a time. Understand it’s changing you and challenging you from deep within. From this deeper place you simply can’t help but put the principles and tips into ACTION and integrate the learning into your daily life.

The only bad things I can say about this book is it should have arrived earlier in my life.

Plus it would be nice to have a real physical copy to give as gifts to those I know who are dieting because they hate their body. If they cracked it open they’d learn to love who they are and change their life and body in better, healthier, more natural ways (there I go trying to save the world, again).

Here’s my biggest realization and by far the MOST important belief to adopt on your weight lose journey — understanding that focusing on losing weight is a LOSING game. Not in the cutesy “Biggest Loser” show title sense but in the sense you cannot win.

How come? Andrea writes, “The very phrase of “I’m going on a diet so I can lose weight.” translates to: “I don’t like my body. I want to change it. To do that I am going to go through some really unpleasant self-torture and deprivation so that I can, temporarily, have a body that I hate slightly less than I hate this one. And to keep that body that’s not as bad, I’m going to have to deny myself pleasure on a consistent basis.”(p.23)

What does she suggest instead? Change the focus of your goal to “I want to get fit and healthy.” Replace it with a moving towards goal. Focus on how good it feels to be healthy and full of energy. This way as she puts it, “You’re not moving away from the body you dislike and want to change…you’re BUILDING health and fitness. You’re thinking about moving towards and building a body that lets you ENJOY longevity, energy, happier moods, strength, flexibility, sexiness, fun…You’re driving towards having a better life.” (p.24)

Only then will we stop this vicious roller coaster ride of weight loss and weight gain.

Let’s end the cycle of dieting and hating our bodies! And begin to truly enjoy the benefits of a healthy and fit lifestyle! Andrea melds this into your mind to help you create permanent and powerful change.

…And yes, lose weight too =)

Check it out here: Amazing Body Now: How To Lose Weight By Feeding And Nourishing Your Spirit

I was browsing through the book store and came across Mike Robbins book, Be Yourself: Everyone Else is Already Taken. I was searching for more books to help me tap into that genuine part of myself. That place where I’m at peace and accepting…and not feeling so lost and fake!

When I saw this book I thought, “Catchy title, but probably not worth my time reading.” It looked like it was one of those “The Secret” wannabe type books. I’m tired of all that. But it was the ONLY book that stood out. So I was compelled to read it (at least to see if there are any practical answers in it).

The first half of the book goes into how we learn self-limiting mindsets. These mindsets keep us from being honest with ourselves because they trap us into behaving certain ways to gain approval from others and get what we want. Yes, these mindsets might have worked in the past and even a few times now, but as we go through our day to day life–we lose ourselves more and more because we’re living in a way that works for others and NOT necessarily for ourselves.

We were told to color inside the box, never question authority, and be good little boys and girls who follows the proper social etiquette. When we’ve conditioned ourselves to not cry as a children, we’ve simply learned not to voice our feelings. Letting such emotions out is unacceptable and is bad–we can’t really be ourselves. Most of us then end up wearing masks and hold our hearts behind iron bars. Our truths hidden away from the world.

The good news is the rest of the book is a guide to journeying back to being ourselves again. Again, not everything is for everyone. And this book is especially NOT for you if you don’t want to take an honest look at yourself. Or think if you just simply read this book and not do any work you’ll transform effortlessly into living your truth. The book is going to ask you to look at things you may not want to face. So brace yourself if you are ready to embark on this journey within.

Before we go on, let’s make sure we’re on the same page when we say “being authentic”. I love how Mike Robbins says, being authentic doesn’t mean we have to voice every opinion in our mind. Some people think it means you have to, “Get in people’s faces, tell them how [you] think and feel, and let them know what’s on [your] mind no matter what.” (p.6)

Mike goes on to clarify, “Authenticity is a process. It’s something that continues to evolve throughout our entire lives. We can’t become “authentic” in the same way we can earn a degree or accomplish a financial goal. Authenticity–like love, health, courage, awareness, patience, and more–is an ideal we aspire to and is something we must practice in the moment-by-moment, day-by-day experiences of life. Our ability to be real can and will deepen as we move through our journey of life, if we’re conscious about it. Becoming more of who we really are is a process that never ends…The same could be said about authenticity. No book, workshop, teacher, or anything else can make you “authentic” in a quick and easy way. Authenticity has to come from deep within you.” (p.4)

“Authenticity is unique and personal for each of us. And what it means for us to be “authentic” changes throughout our lives as we grow and evolve. And to truly bring out our real authenticity, we would have to take a hard honest look at ourselves, all of it, speak our truth, and live our lives in a way that is true for us.” (p.5)

“Fundamentally, authenticity is about you being you–fully. It’s about being yourself–understanding, owning, acknowledging, appreciating, and expressing all of who you are–both the light and the dark…It involves being totally honest about our selves and with others. When we’re authentic, we’re vulnerable, aware, open, curious, and truthful above all else. We’re in touch with our thoughts and our feelings, our doubts and our fears, our dreams and our passions, and so much more. When we’re authentic, we’re also able to own up to it when we’re being phony.” (p.6)

In this book, Mike shares his personal journey to being real with himself: his fears, doubts, frustrations, and challenges. He helps us understand and differentiate the misconception of what authenticity is and why the journey is worth taking. Most importantly, he explains why we are scared to come out of our shells and be real with ourselves and others. Mike helps guide us to journey within and dig out the genuine self we have long buried since we entered this world.

Mike’s book has road maps, suggestions, and routes guiding us towards finding ourselves again. He walks us through some hidden obstacles in our lives that throw us off unknowingly. We face things we may not want to see. We’re challenged to break through barriers we jailed ourselves in (that bar us from being our genuine self). We’re shown how to regain our life back… Find confidence in ourselves again… Free us from the things holding us back…By living with integrity.

Are you ready for the journey within?

You know what is plastered all over the internet? The Truth About Abs ads. Everywhere I surf, there it was; on youtube, on facebook, on yahoo, on my gmail, and on health sites that I visit…the lists goes on and on. Got me curious, what the heck is this truth that I don’t know? Is there a way I can tighten my abs more easily than what I am already doing? Maybe, this Truth About Abs got the answer.

Luckily, a friend of mine had it so I just read his e-book. I like the different exercises that show how to work out my whole mid-section. The e-book was packed with lots of abdominal exercises that really work the abs hard. These are intermediate to mostly advance ab exercise that will really get you to work your tummy area. These ab workouts are tough! I use it at the gym and can not belief it, I did a few of them and I almost passed out. Unlike my regular sit ups where my feet are locked into the ab exercise machine–those I could do a max of 120 situps before getting exhausted. Guess I have a weaker ab than I thought.

This guy knows his stuff and got a ton of great information. However, I wish he included more pictures in there showing all the exercise moves because I am not a hardcore exercise fanatic (just yet) who knows all the name of the exercises and what or how to do them exactly. I am a visual learner and the written description just would not do it for me. I need the pictures from start, middle to end for ALL the exercises he is talking about. But if you are a quick learner and pick up things easily, then this e-book could be for you.

This book is more tailor towards intermediate or advance workout oriented people who already know their stuff but just need a few adjustments here and there to fine tune their workout. If you are a beginner or need a lot of help, I think you would need this book and a knowledgeable person there to correct your postures. Mike Geary, the author of this book, could have included more photos–maybe even a DVD demonstrating the workout.

Honestly, I think if you are more of a visual learner like me, your money can be better spent elsewhere. Get an easier ‘how to exercise at the gym’ book where all strength training exercises are drawn out, or where the book is 70 percent pictures. Pictures are worth a thousand words. And for workout demonstration –pictures are the best teachers.

If you are an intermediate and advance workout enthusiast, who isn’t too visual. You might want to check out Mike’s –> 5 Facts You MUST Understand if You Are Ever Going to Lose Your Belly Fat and Get Six Pack Abs