Unleash the Authentic Woman in You – Faey Szeuw

This is by far one of the greatest example out there on how to do your daily affirmation.

Let litte Jessica show you how it’s done!

Ever feel cluttered by old beliefs? When you try on a new belief (e.g. affirmations) it feels like you’re just masking over what’s already there. Like trying to redecorate in a room full of junk.

I’m excited because I found a way to rewrite our future! First step is throwing out the clutter. You’ll finally enjoy  affirmations and reaching your goals because all that mess will be out of your way. Ready to play and paint a fresh new life? Let’s start with a clean canvas…

According to Dave Logan and Steve Zaffron’s book “3 Laws of Performance: Rewriting the Future of Your Organization and Your Life“ we can pinpoint our stuck beliefs and erase them. How do we do this? First we take a deep look at WHY we’re keeping our fixed belief rolling. Why we’re keeping this alive when we know it is sabotaging our growth and who we CAN become.

Let’s do this step-by-step:

1. Ask what are the PAYOFFS? In other words, what are you gaining by playing these stories over and over again. How are you benefiting from them? In what ways do you think you’re gaining from living with this belief?

For example, say I tell myself I am fat. By doing this, my payoffs are:
- I can eat whatever I want
- I don’t have to be responsible for others because I got myself to take care off
- I get to be lazy
- I can watch movie or do whatever I want instead of using the time to exercise
- I get the attention or sympathy
- I don’t have to feel
- I don’t have to be responsible for my health
- I don’t have to learn
- I can keep telling others my stories
- I feel I have the right to complain that I am fat
- And maybe for so some odd reason, you feel you have the reason to relate with others…

Just keep listing all the thoughts and statements that are coming up, don’t judge it…list all of them until you have no more or you experience it is complete for you.

2. What are the COSTS? And list all the things that are coming up for you that are harming you. By telling and living this fixed belief or habit what is it costing you? How is it hurting you in your life?

For instance, telling myself I am fat:
- I am hurting my own self image
- I create more hatred for me and my body image
- I am getting more lazy
- I see myself less
- I feel defeated
- I am tired a lot
- I go out less
- I eat more
- I make poorer food choices
- I make more excuses
- I move away from my goal of gaining a healthier lifestyle
- I have more fear
- I am sad
- I dislike myself, etc.

Again, keep listing all the costs until you have no more.

This will take as long as you need. Some people take only a few minutes to do this while others takes days. It depends highly on you, whether if this is a deep issue for you. The goal here is to bring all the “STUFF” out so you can see pass all the veils that’s hiding these sabotaging thoughts. Look at all perspective, at its naked core and see why you keep doing what you are doing up to this point. Until then, can we truly sever the cord that binds us to these self defeating thoughts, beliefs, and old habits.

When we fully bring awareness  to all the reasons we think we do these things, why we feel we have to do it…we can finally reveal the truth for what it is and see how detriment this habit or belief is to us and our progress toward who we want to be. And finally cut the the cord.

I was walking around the mall… And you know those independent merchant carts… They’re always luring unsuspected suckers in for free samples. I noticed I feel obligated to buy things after trying the free thing. Eeehhh, huh?

Surprisingly, after taking a deep look into my history of buying junk, I discovered I buy BECAUSE of this “law of reciprocity”. Someone gives me a free sample, then I feel like I HAVE to buy something from them.

How many times have you bought something that you didn’t really want but felt obligated? You just didn’t want to seem like you were inconveniencing them…

I fell prey to this technique one too many times. I ended up with restaurant meals I wasn’t entirely satisfied with – Clothes and shoes I didn’t want – Costly natural nail polish – Mineral makeups – More than enough memberships at places I didn’t really need – Books I didn’t read – Things I didn’t even use!

I remember one time where I was strolling around the mall with my fiance… I knew I would buy something if I had my credit cards with me so I left them at home and only had a twenty in my pocket.

Surprisingly, after this salesgirl gave me all this attention and being dabbled by all this new exotic Japanese cosmetic elixir that claimed to make my skin smoother, younger, beautiful and flawless…

I looked at my fiance and ask to borrow HIS card! Of course, I paid him back. But isn’t that just ridiculous! Ended up charging $157.37 dollars on HIS visa!

With knowing my kryptonite (free stuff), I can be more aware of these traps. So now I am actually practicing saying more “NO’s”. It’s a bit of a challenge but I feel good.

It’s nice to have values (and not personally step on them). I can still change my mind.

So beware of FREE. You might end up with your values tangling you up inside.

If you do get tangled up… Remember most decisions can be revised (especially if someone’s trying to sell you stuff).

Single? Listen up. This might help. These little neat ideas is not mine, I’m sharing it because I think it will put the clue back in the clueless mind for those who haven’t come to this realization yet.

You could use it or discard it. What ever you choose, you are the master of your own universe. If you see it’ll help you out on attracting a better girlfriend, by all mean try it out.

These 2 simple tips alone will create miracles in your love life.

A few things I’ve learned from Authentic Man Program (AMP) is the power of presence work wonders. It helps you stay aware and present in whatever you do. It takes practice to hone this skill. Just like learning to ride a bike, it’ll take many attempts before you become comfortable and skilled at it. Presence essentially helps you stay in your body and enjoy the moment as it happen. I guess you can say, keep your mind quiet and still. Whether it is for dating or for your daily life, staying present and grounded is an attractive attribute to women –actually to everyone.

Have you ever talked to someone and their attention is everywhere. Distracted and can’t even focus on the conversation or the experience at the moment. Their eyes wander and their mind seems far off somewhere.

A man who can master his own mind; bring awareness and presence into his being is considered a rare commodity for women. Definitely, becoming more aware and present is of a great value. We (women) know and can pick a solid guy out from a mile away. It’s extremely attractive and undeniably sexy!

Second thing that bring wonders to your life is to stay appreciative. What is appreciation? Here’s what Authentic Man Program has to say about it, “Most guys think Appreciation is saying nice things. This couldn’t be farther from the truth. In fact, ‘Creating Profound Connections‘ has absolutely nothing to do with even being nice. It’s all about building a strong, deep level of rapport… an emotional connection that you cannot fake. ”

Everyone wants to be appreciated and acknowledged. You can start to practice appreciation by being thankful for the small things in your life. Stay in gratitude for what you have and not what you don’t have.

Man, do they work like magic. People can feel when you are being genuinely appreciative of them. Their faces will light up and smiles will start to appear. It’s contagious.

When you stay in the state of appreciation, most women will reciprocate your state of emotion and shoot back those same great feeling. It’s a great feeling at both ends. And 99% of the time you’ll get back a warm smile.

Have you ever got a genuine sincere acknowledgment from a person. They say it in such a way that you know it is from their heart. They really meant it and not just one of those generic, “Thank you. Come again.” from the cashier’s mouth. You can somehow always tell the difference.

Practice these two new habits and master them. You will not only attract a better mate but bring more fun into your life. You’ll turn many frowns around. Stay grounded in who you are. And bring quality experiences into your life far more than just the original intended goal of acquiring a girlfriend.

The only downfall is these 2 simple new habits take time to be integrated into your life. Even for me, I am still working on ‘staying present and being appreciative.’ It’s really a daily practice. You actually have to do it and gain the experience –for you to truly understand and incorporate it into your life.

Learn it, KNOW it, walk it, and you’ll be surprise how much more amazing your life can get.