Effective Communication Skills

Archived Posts from this Category

Fri 26 Feb 2010

You Are Allowed To Change Your Mind

Posted by Faey under Effective Communication Skills, Personal Growth
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I was walking around the mall… And you know those independent merchant carts… They’re always luring unsuspected suckers in for free samples. I noticed I feel obligated to buy things after trying the free thing. Eeehhh, huh?

Surprisingly, after taking a deep look into my history of buying junk, I discovered I buy BECAUSE of this “law of reciprocity”. Someone gives me a free sample, then I feel like I HAVE to buy something from them.

How many times have you bought something that you didn’t really want but felt obligated? You just didn’t want to seem like you were inconveniencing them…

I fell prey to this technique one too many times. I ended up with restaurant meals I wasn’t entirely satisfied with – Clothes and shoes I didn’t want – Costly natural nail polish – Mineral makeups – More than enough memberships at places I didn’t really need – Books I didn’t read – Things I didn’t even use!

I remember one time where I was strolling around the mall with my fiance… I knew I would buy something if I had my credit cards with me so I left them at home and only had a twenty in my pocket.

Surprisingly, after this salesgirl gave me all this attention and being dabbled by all this new exotic Japanese cosmetic elixir that claimed to make my skin smoother, younger, beautiful and flawless…

I looked at my fiance and ask to borrow HIS card! Of course, I paid him back. But isn’t that just ridiculous! Ended up charging $157.37 dollars on HIS visa!

With knowing my kryptonite (free stuff), I can be more aware of these traps. So now I am actually practicing saying more “NO’s”. It’s a bit of a challenge but I feel good.

It’s nice to have values (and not personally step on them). I can still change my mind.

So beware of FREE. You might end up with your values tangling you up inside.

If you do get tangled up… Remember most decisions can be revised (especially if someone’s trying to sell you stuff).

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Tags: Andrzej Gdula art, Books, Clothes, Credit Cards, Decisions, Elixir, Fiance, Free Sample, Free Samples, free stuff, Independent Merchant, Kryptonite, Law Of Reciprocity, Mineral Makeups, Natural Nail, Prey, Restaurant Meals, Sell Stuff, Shoes, Suckers, Traps, Visa

Mon 8 Feb 2010

How to Attract a Better Girlfriend With These 2 Simple Tips

Posted by Faey under Effective Communication Skills, Healthy Relationships
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Single? Listen up. This might help. These little neat ideas is not mine, I’m sharing it because I think it will put the clue back in the clueless mind for those who haven’t come to this realization yet.

You could use it or discard it. What ever you choose, you are the master of your own universe. If you see it’ll help you out on attracting a better girlfriend, by all mean try it out.

These 2 simple tips alone will create miracles in your love life.

A few things I’ve learned from Authentic Man Program (AMP) is the power of presence work wonders. It helps you stay aware and present in whatever you do. It takes practice to hone this skill. Just like learning to ride a bike, it’ll take many attempts before you become comfortable and skilled at it. Presence essentially helps you stay in your body and enjoy the moment as it happen. I guess you can say, keep your mind quiet and still. Whether it is for dating or for your daily life, staying present and grounded is an attractive attribute to women –actually to everyone.

Have you ever talked to someone and their attention is everywhere. Distracted and can’t even focus on the conversation or the experience at the moment. Their eyes wander and their mind seems far off somewhere.

A man who can master his own mind; bring awareness and presence into his being is considered a rare commodity for women. Definitely, becoming more aware and present is of a great value. We (women) know and can pick a solid guy out from a mile away. It’s extremely attractive and undeniably sexy!

Second thing that bring wonders to your life is to stay appreciative. What is appreciation? Here’s what Authentic Man Program has to say about it, “Most guys think Appreciation is saying nice things. This couldn’t be farther from the truth. In fact, ‘Creating Profound Connections‘ has absolutely nothing to do with even being nice. It’s all about building a strong, deep level of rapport… an emotional connection that you cannot fake. ”

Everyone wants to be appreciated and acknowledged. You can start to practice appreciation by being thankful for the small things in your life. Stay in gratitude for what you have and not what you don’t have.

Man, do they work like magic. People can feel when you are being genuinely appreciative of them. Their faces will light up and smiles will start to appear. It’s contagious.

When you stay in the state of appreciation, most women will reciprocate your state of emotion and shoot back those same great feeling. It’s a great feeling at both ends. And 99% of the time you’ll get back a warm smile.

Have you ever got a genuine sincere acknowledgment from a person. They say it in such a way that you know it is from their heart. They really meant it and not just one of those generic, “Thank you. Come again.” from the cashier’s mouth. You can somehow always tell the difference.

Practice these two new habits and master them. You will not only attract a better mate but bring more fun into your life. You’ll turn many frowns around. Stay grounded in who you are. And bring quality experiences into your life far more than just the original intended goal of acquiring a girlfriend.

The only downfall is these 2 simple new habits take time to be integrated into your life. Even for me, I am still working on ‘staying present and being appreciative.’ It’s really a daily practice. You actually have to do it and gain the experience –for you to truly understand and incorporate it into your life.

Learn it, KNOW it, walk it, and you’ll be surprise how much more amazing your life can get.

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Tags: AMP, attract a better mate, attract a great mate, attract women, Authentic Man Program, becoming a solid person, create quality experience in your life, dating advice, happy couple picture, how to attract a better girlfriend, how to attract a better girlfriend with these 2 simple things, how to attract women, how to stay grounded in who you are, looking for a relationship, love advice, love life, power of appreciation, power of presence, relationship advice, single, staying grounded, staying present

Fri 18 Dec 2009

Children Mimic Everything – Watch What You Say Around Them

Posted by Faey under Adventure with Faey, Effective Communication Skills, Healthy Relationships, Personal Growth
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I remember watching my 3 year old nephew, Bryent. He fell on the ground and scraped his knees. I just looked at him and helped him up.

I asked, “You okay?” without making the ‘oh and ahs’…The darndest thing happened, he got right up and told me it hurt–and only sobbed a bit. Then wiped his face and went on playing.

Kids are very impressionable; we never know what they are copying. These are the time, where their life imprints are made. Their watchful eyes are watching, studying, and taking everything, every incident, every action, every word, and every lesson in. Possibly cementing them into their beliefs.

So crucial, we watch what we say and do around them. They’re such an aware and receptive little person.

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Tags: children early learning, children mimic everything, how children learn, imprints, kids, receptive youngster

Mon 16 Nov 2009

Brian Tracy – Forging Your Self-Confidence

Posted by Faey under Effective Communication Skills, Neat Stuff, Personal Growth
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This is an absolute gem from Brian Tracy. I felt an urge that his words should be read by everyone. Absolutely, everyone can learn a thing or two from this valuable information.

We can learn how to strengthen our self-confidence and develop ourselves into the person we desire to be.

From the wisdom of Brian Tracy, here are some great tips he shares with us:

Forging Your Self-Confidence: Part 1

By Brian Tracy

A young woman wrote to me recently, telling me that her whole life had taken a different turn since she heard me ask the question, “What one great thing would you dare to dream if you knew you could not fail?” She wrote that, up to that time, this was a question she had never even dared to consider, but now, she thought of nothing else. She had realized, in a great, blinding flash of clarity, that the main thing separating her from her hopes and dreams was the belief in her ability to achieve them.

Most of us are like this for most of our lives. There are many things that we want to be, and have and do, but we hold back. We are unsure because we lack the confidence necessary to step out in faith in the direction of our dreams.

Don’t Underestimate Yourself

Abraham Maslow said that the story of the human race is the story of men and women “selling themselves short.” Alfred Adler, the great psychotherapist, said that men and women have a natural tendency toward feelings of inferiority and inadequacy. Because we lack confidence, we don’t think we have the ability to do the kind of things that others have done, and in many cases, we don’t even try.

Just think: What difference would it make in your life if you had an absolutely unshakable confidence in your ability to achieve anything you really put your mind to? What would you want and wish and hope for? What would you dare to dream if you believed in yourself with such deep conviction that you had no fears of failure whatsoever?

Most people start off with little or no self-confidence, but as a result of their own efforts, they become bold and brave and outgoing. And we’ve discovered that if you do the same things that other self-confident men and women do, you, too, will experience the same feelings and get the same results.

Discover Yourself

The key is to be true to yourself, to be true to the very best that is in you, and to live your life consistent with your highest values and aspirations.

Take some time to think about who you are and what you believe in and what is important to you. Decide that you will never compromise your integrity by trying to be or say or feel something that is not true for you. Have the courage to accept yourself as you really are-not as you might be, or as someone else thinks you should be-and know that, taking everything into consideration, you are a pretty good person.

After all, we all have our own talents, skills and abilities that make us extraordinary. No one, including yourself, has any idea of your capabilities or of what you might ultimately do or become. Perhaps the hardest thing to do in life is to accept how extraordinary you really can be, and then to incorporate this awareness into your attitude and personality.

Know Yourself and Your Potential

In developing unshakable levels of self-confidence, your self-esteem, and self-regard are important starting points, but they are not enough. People have tried positive thinking and wishing and hoping for years, with only mixed results. To develop the deep-down kind of self-confidence that leads to victory, you need positive knowing, not just positive thinking.

Lasting self-confidence really comes from a sense of control. When you feel very much in control of yourself and your life, you feel confident enough to do and say the things that are consistent with your highest values. Psychologists today agree that a feeling of being “out of control” is the primary reason for stress and negativity and for feelings of inferiority and low self-confidence. And the way for you to get a solid sense of control over every part of your life is to set clear goals or objectives, to establish a sense of direction based on purposeful behavior aimed at predetermined ends.

Being true to yourself means knowing exactly what you want and having a plan to achieve it. Lasting self-confidence comes when you absolutely know that you have the capacity to get from where you are to wherever you want to go. You are behind the wheel of your life. You are the architect of your destiny and the master of your fate.

Instead of being preoccupied with the fear of failure and loss, as most people are, you focus on the opportunity and the possible gains of achievement. With a clearly defined track to run on, you become success-oriented, and you gradually build your confidence up to the stage where there is very little you will not take on.

Positive Thinking vs. Positive Knowing

Another essential way to build your self-confidence, through positive knowing rather than just positive thinking, is to become very good at what you do. The flip side of self-confidence is “self-efficacy,” or the ability to perform effectively in your chosen area.

You can raise your self-confidence instantly by the simple act of committing yourself to becoming excellent in your chosen field. You immediately separate yourself from the average individual who drifts from job to job and accepts mediocrity as the adequate standard.

============================================

Forging Your Self-Confidence: Part 2

By Brian Tracy

Some years ago, a young man named Tim came to one of my personal-development seminars. He was shy and introverted. His handshake was weak and he had tremendous difficulty making eye contact. He sat in the back of the seminar room with his head down, taking notes. He seemed to have few friends, and he didn’t socialize very much during the breaks. At the end of the seminar, he told me that he was in sales and hadn’t been doing very well up to that time. But he had resolved to change, to go to work on himself, to overcome his shyness and to become very good at selling for his company. He then said good-bye, and I wished him the best of luck as he went on his way.

A year later, he came back to take the seminar again. But this time, he was distinctly different. He was calmer and more self-assured. He was still a little shy, but when he shook hands, his grip was firmer, and his eye contact was better. He sat toward the middle of the seminar room, and he interacted quietly with people around him. At the end of the seminar, he told me that he was starting to move up in his sales force and had had his best year ever. He was determined to do even better in the year to come.

About 14 months later, Tim came back to the seminar. This time, he brought five people from his company, all of whom he had convinced to come to the seminar, and he had offered to pay their tuition if they weren’t satisfied. He walked right up to me and shook hands firmly, looking me straight in the eye with a strong, self-confident smile. He asked if I remembered him, and I told him that I remembered him very well. He said that he had brought something that he wanted to show me. He took out of his pocket a letter from the president of a national corporation-one of the biggest companies in the country-personally congratulating him for the outstanding job he had done in sales in his territory in the past year.

It turned out that Tim had gone from number 33 to number one out of 42 salespeople. His income had risen from $26,000 a year to $98,000, and he had increased his sales volume at a faster rate than any other salesperson in the country had. He was still quiet, but he had a wonderful air of power and purposefulness about him. He had taken the steps and paid the price to build himself into a fine young man. He had made the decision to do whatever was necessary to overcome his shyness and to develop the kind of personality that he admired in others. He was, and is, in every sense of the word, a self-made man.

Two Mental Laws

Perhaps the most wonderful result of developing high levels of self-confidence is the positive impact that your personality will have on your relationships. There are two mental laws that are always operating and that determine much of what happens to you in your interactions with people.

Law #1

The first is the law of attraction, which says that you will inevitably attract into your life people who are very much like you.

Law #2

The second law is the law of correspondence, which says that your outer world of relationships will correspond perfectly, like a mirror image, to your inner world of personality and temperament.

In combination, these laws simply say that as you change in a positive direction, you will find yourself surrounded by people who are very much like the new person you are becoming. As you get better, the quality and quantity of your relationships will get better. You will meet nicer, more self-confident, more interesting and enjoyable people. You will find yourself getting along better with members of the opposite sex, including your spouse. You will find yourself doing better at your job, or even in a new job, and getting along better with your boss and your coworkers. Your attitude of confidence and calm assurance will make you more attractive to people. They will want to be around you, to open doors for you, to make opportunities available to you that would not have arisen when you didn’t feel as terrific about yourself as you do now.

Often, people lack self-confidence in their relationships with others because they judge themselves poorly in comparison. Sometimes you become self-conscious of what you are doing and saying, and sometimes you are afraid that people will not like you or accept you the way you want them to. Well, there is an important mindset that you can adopt to improve your ability to get along well with others in a more relaxed and confident fashion.

Practice Detachment

It’s important to remember that no one can affect your thoughts or feelings unless there is something that you want from him, or something that you want him to refrain from doing. As soon as you begin to practice detachment and decide in your own mind that there is nothing that you want or expect from another person, you will find that his ability to shake your self-confidence is greatly reduced. The people who are the most successful in human relationships are those who practice a calm, healthy detachment from others, and although they are friendly and engaged in the conversation, they don’t allow the behaviors of others to determine how they think and feel about themselves.

As you can see, it is our fears and doubts that, more than anything else, undermine our self-esteem and self-confidence and cause us to think in negative terms about ourselves and our possibilities. As Maslow said, we begin to “sell ourselves short” and see all the reasons why something might not be possible for us. We magnify the difficulties and minimize the opportunities. We become preoccupied with the possible losses we might suffer and the possible criticisms we might endure. Our fears and doubts paralyze us, preventing us from acting boldly, lowering our self-confidence and causing us to think and talk in negative terms. In fact, this probably describes the great majority of mankind. Most people are so preoccupied with their fears that they have time for little else, and this preoccupation manifests itself in much of what they say and do.

The only real antidote to doubt and worry and fear and all the other negative emotions that sabotage our self-confidence is action. Your conscious mind can hold only one thought at a time, positive or negative. When you engage in systematic, purposeful action, using and stretching your abilities to the maximum, you cannot help but feel positive and confident about yourself.

Act as though it were impossible to fail. Act as though you already had a high level of self-confidence. And continually ask yourself, “What one great thing would I dare to achieve if I knew I could not fail?” Whatever your answer, you can have it if you can dream it, and if you have the self-confidence to go out and get it.

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Tags: Abraham Maslow, Brian Tracy, cure to doubt and worry, cure to fear, detachment, discover yourself, finding yourself, forging your self-conficdenc, how to build confidence, lack of self-confidence, overcoming shyness, positive thinking, self-confidence, self-esteem, unshakable self-conficence, your highest values

Mon 12 Oct 2009

Dating Help for Men – What Women Want

Posted by Faey under Effective Communication Skills, Healthy Relationships
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Today, I just want to applaud the work Authentic Man Program (AMP) does. Growing us new crops of genuine men. Isn’t that just fabulous, I mean I hear other women often complain. “I just can’t find a good man anywhere. They are either married or gay.” How many times have you heard that?

Which is why, I am so proud to introduce to you what Travis Decker and Bryan Bayer are doing for the men community. They committed themselves to helping men who are interested in developing themselves and building their authenticity of who they really are. What can be more intriguing and worthy of our (women) attention than that?

The bad news is we women probably aren’t allow into their workshops unless we are part of the women discussion panel of AMP. However, we can peek at their CDs and see what the men are actually doing. Sshhhh!

Decker and Bryan had started a movement in San Francisco to build strong men. Men who honestly desire the deep meaningful connection with us women and within themselves. Nothing is sexier than that! These are NOT men who are taught to use gimmicks to fool us into falling for them but real honest men with integrity and desire to be strong in who they are. Who truly wants to love themselves and share their presence and appreciation with us.

I’m honored to write this post to acknowledge their efforts and urged all women out there that want to support their men to support AMP men by perhaps forwarding this blog post to any men in your life that may be searching for the very same thing Authentic Man Program are offering. That is to be in love and strong in who they are as a man because they are truly being the best of themselves.

Below is the link to a short video clip from Bryan giving us a preview -inside of what AMP is. And how 90% of the challenges with us women (for men) is traced down to this 1 thing…

LINK TO VIDEO OF BRYAN –>> Watch this Video And Discover Mistakes Men Make With Women

And if you’re a man reading this, this can be the 1 thing that’s stopping you from being with the woman you want!

I look forward to hearing what you think.

Until next time.

With peace and love,
Faey

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Tags: AMP, Amp Men, authentic man, Authentic Man Program, Authenticity, Bryan Bayer, Decker Cunov, Genuine Men, Honest Men, Integrity, man authentic, Meaningful Connection, Presence, San Francisco, strong men, Travis, Travis Decker, Video Clip

Sun 11 Oct 2009

The Power of Integrity Unleashes the Authentic Man in You!

Posted by Faey under Effective Communication Skills, Healthy Relationships, Personal Growth
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Listen to The New Man (Tripp Lanier: men’s coach and host of The New Man podcast) talk with Bryan Bayer and Garrison Cohen of the Authentic Man Program. This interview is great; unlike others, this interview is just like talking to some of your guy friends. But for women — WARNING: The conversation has some strong word use. It’s a very male conversation since it’s tailor to men.

Tripp Lanier is a great host despite his swearing. His enthusiasm is contagious. There’s lots of valuable information. It’s not just for men. It’s an inside scoop for women to better understand our men too.

Click here to listen to the audio interview: The Authentic Man Program – The Power of Integrity

This audio talks about men being honest with themselves and what they want. It covers: how men sell themselves short by tolerating stuff and then feeling like shit. How they are left feeling empty, and out of integrity because they’ve agreed to something that they really didn’t want to. How men are withholding their true feelings and denying their emotions or upsets. And how this actually impedes their progress and suffocates their own self. But most importantly, it tells the men what to do to tear down these obstacles and bring back their integrity and power!

Relationship out of integrity? Best place to start is to work on you. To be open to your feelings and honest of your own truth. The more you can do this…the more your presence, appreciation, and integrity radiates in your life. You’re not just being the ‘nice guy’ or ‘nice gal’ so others will approve and accept you. Calling it out in yourself. Embodying your truth. Let yourself out.

The Authentic Man Program helps men break through that barrier and unleash the authentic man within.

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Tags: AMP, Audio Interview, Authentic Man Program, Bryan Bayer, Garrison Cohen, how to be yourself, how to deal with emotion, how to express yourself, how to get out of being a nice guy, interview, man authentic, men's emotion, men's integrity, podcast, Power of Integrity, The New Man, Tripp Lanier

Fri 9 Oct 2009

What it Means to Be an Authentic Man – Chat with Eric

Posted by Faey under Adventure with Faey, Effective Communication Skills, Healthy Relationships, Neat Stuff, Personal Growth
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Hey there!

I want to share with you this unedited yahoo chat of my friend Eric and I. I’ve already asked him for his permission to show it with you on this blog. Although, I’ve changed the name to Eric for his privacy.

Just a little heads up, I am currently living in the Philippines and he is still back in California.

Below is our unedited chat:

Eric: Hey Faey. It’s Eric.

Me: Hey Eric. Just online browsing for course on ‘how to be authentic’. What you up to?

Eric: I am doing laundry right now. ha ha
So, have you found out how to be authentic? ha ha

Me: yep!
Do my laundry for me pls. =)

Eric: ha ha. You’re funny, Faey
Send your laundry to me through email

Me: Watch for it Now
zip…!

Eric: Wow! That’s a lot of laundry! he he he he

Me: I know…haven’t wash them for 10 months..be careful of some clothes, they’ve been dirty for quite a while.
Might have some dead snakes, I’ve killed.

Eric: LOL – okay. I’ll be careful.
But here I can just kill spiders with your dirty clothes

Me: just don’t let me know about it.

Eric: Okay I will. We have some Black widows around here. So I’ll definitely let you know.
LOL
Any plans for this weekend?

Me: do some more research on authentic women program…then watch the Authentic Man Program Mark is watching to learn about MEN…so far finish 3 cds and it is super delicious!

Eric: cool. Sounds very interesting. I’d imagine a person would gain a lot of enlightenment from it

Me: none of that tricks and fake stuff and liners to give to women …it teaches men how to access their true, REAL self…..I am so impress..
yelp…lots of insights and enlightenment…..

Eric: I see. I think a lot of people would gain from it

Me: I think of it….these programs are growing new refreshing crops of men for all the women out there….he he he…then I’ll stop hearing all the good men are taken or they’re all gay stuff. =) he he he… I mean who wouldn’t want a REAL man who knows himself, be present, and be his genuine self. Of course that would mean the woman be her true self to match with these type of REAL men too…..can’t have them nagging immature little girls. It just wouldn’t match…He he he….sorry..I am just going on and on…

Eric: It’s cool Faey. You’re always welcome to express yourself with me
I look forward to your insight
I agree with you and this program

Me: thanks for allowing me that space. so appreciated. =)

Eric: Anytime, my friend

Me: got two new insights if you are curious

Eric: Sure…I’m always open
Are you still there?

Me: sorry about that…was watching a video of Authentic Man Program
anyhow, briefly…the first 2 steps…of accessing your authentic self for Men are:
STEP 1: Presence. BE there. Not trying or thinking about being there. But actually being in the moment, enjoying it with ease. Just be at ease. Check in your body and see if you are tight in your body or rambling on in your head or fidgeting. (these are signs of you not being ‘present’). Just RELAX and be in your body. Feel instead of thinking. Just be there.
You could use this with women. Actually, you could use this with anybody, anything….especially with yourself.
Creates solidity in YOU as a person.

Eric: I like this. And I feel that I do these things right now. Because recently, I have found that I am very content with who I am as a man, as a person. I enjoy my own time & time with friends, and I don’t yearn for outrageous things.
Please continue. I’m enjoying this

Me: Good. Well done on your steps forward! =)
STEP 2. Appreciation. This means with your interaction with women and others. You see them as another person, not just an object or target to get. But treat and see them. They too have dreams, issues, feelings, and needs.
It means stepping into their shoes feeling what they are feeling without your agenda…or for example “hummm, I see you are so warm and nurturing and etc.”
It does not mean complimenting her and making her feel good.
It’s about being there with her on the ride. Yet, you being solid in who you ARE at the same time. You CAN’T…just do step 2 or skip ahead to step 2 unless STEP 1: Presence is deep rooted and grounded in you.

Eric: Yes, you’re absolutely right. Basically, seeing each person for who they are. I think that’s why I’ve gained so many female friends. This is deep.
I’m not saying I know it all. I’m actually just analyzing everything you tell me and then I think if I’m doing that or have I applied it.
what’s step 3?

Me: want to add a little more on Step 2 still.

Eric: Oh. Ooops. Sure go ahead

Me: So like I said, it’s not about complimenting her and solely making her feel good. It’s about being THERE with her. Feeling what it IS what she is feeling. Allowing her that space. Yet you be there fully present and enjoying your interaction and being authenticly CURIOUS. (no pretense). You truly feel curious to know about her and who she is. If you do it right.
You could feel her heart open up to you. And she might stop being all bitchy and become real sweet or tone down…she’ll feel…wow this person really SEES me.
This will create intimate connection with them.
for love or for friendships..many types of intimacy
Interests will build between the two individuals….
Boom! relationship is created…
Takes practice…..

Eric: After reading this, I really feel that many Americans could benefit from this knowledge
And I agree on so many accounts with the steps you’ve provided to me

Me: glad you like it.
Oh and remember, just one more thing. The whole time you are being YOU — stay REAL to who you are.

Eric: Right.
I’ve gotten into Zen philosophy, It’s really helped me
It is similar with its outlooks on life, respect and responsibility

Me: Nice. Love zen….

Eric: I want to be a modern day Jazz Monk

Me: hey Eric…I going to have to cut it short….starting some more training soon. BTW, can I use this yahoo IM conversation for me blog?

Eric: Sure. Go ahead

Me: he he he…’modern day JAZZ Monk’ i could see that.

Eric: Have a good day/night

Me: Alright, ttyl. In the meantime time chill out…or should I say keep it jazzy… =)

[Date: 08-23-2009 Yahoo IM]

Thank you for visiting me today. And love to hear what you have to say.

Until next time!

-Faey

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Tags: AMP, Authentic Man Program, Building An Authentic Man, chat between Faey and Eric, Enlightenment, Friend Eric, getting in touch with masculine energy, how to appreciate, how to be present, man authentic, Men Program, men training on how to be authentic, power of appreciation, power of presence, Real Man, Real Men, strong men, True Self, what is presence, Yahoo Chat, Yahoo Im

Thu 1 Oct 2009

Complimenting a Woman? You Might Be Doing More Harm

Posted by Faey under Adventure with Faey, Effective Communication Skills, Healthy Relationships
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Just finish listening to Brian Tracy’s cd, ‘21 Ways to Stay in Love Forever‘ with my fiancé, Mark. Tracy has some great tips. When we got to secret number ten, Brian talked about building self-esteem on every occasion. He quoted a nice quote from Mary Kay Ash of Mary Kay Cosmetics, about how everyone has an invisible sign around their neck that says, “Make me feel important.” So Brian encourages us to say and do things to make the other person feel special. How we should genuinely accept and appreciate our partner. At that moment, Mark pause the audio and turned to me with a warm smile and said, he appreciates me cooking for him and keeping our place clean.

I could not help it but felt upset a bit. Let me explain why.

I feel I’m more than that. I should be appreciated for a wider spectrum of things I am good at. My better traits. I wouldn’t expect this from a stranger I just met, but I’m talking about my significant other who knows me more than anyone else. Damn it, I’m more than that. I have many qualities.

For example, it’s like going on a date. Sitting across from a very attractive beautiful woman and all the man can say is how beautiful she is. That upsets me. She’s more than that with many attributes to be admired. Just hope if this man had passed this date test–that in a year or more, he’ll see and appreciate the woman more than just her beauty and smile. The man at that point, I might be wrong but… I hope he sees her in all aspect of her intelligence and charm. That he sees her mind, emotion, desire, dreams, and her heart. That she is one special lady with many qualities to be admired and appreciated.

Now back to my fiancé, I just wanted him to notice my intelligence, mind, and wit more…and praise those attributes rather than my house keeping skills. It was somehow very insulting for me to hear those are the ones that stood out the most to him when it comes time to compliment me. It’s not that I don’t appreciate him appreciating me. It’s just that, I would like to hear something about my wits and charm.

That’s when I applied Brian Tracy’s secret number 3. I asked for what I wanted. And of course, I expressed my feelings too. Don’t underestimate the power of asking.

So ladies don’t get too upset like me, he really means well with good intention.

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Tags: 21 Ways to Stay in Love Forever, Beautiful Woman, Brian Tracy, Building Self Esteem, complimenting a woman, free brian tracy cds, Free Success Secrets CDS, Healthy Relationships, how to ask for something, how to compliment, Love, love advice, love relationship advice, Mary Kay Ash, Mary Kay Cosmetics, relationship skills, secrets to a successful relationship

Sat 12 Sep 2009

Free Success Secrets CDs from Brian Tracy?

Posted by Faey under Effective Communication Skills, Healthy Relationships, Neat Stuff
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Oh my, just found out Brian Tracy is giving away some neat CDs. For those of you who don’t know Brian Tracy, he is the Chairman and CEO of Brian Tracy International, a company specializing in the training and development of individuals and organizations. His goal is to help others achieve their personal and business goals faster and easier.

Right now, he has 21 Success Secrets CDs that you can choose from, that teaches you how to achieve your goals, double your productivity, double your time off, and make more money.

And the best part is…he is giving the first CD for FREE!

All you need to do is cover for the shipping and handling.

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Tags: Brian Tracy, free stuff, Free Success Secrets CDS, how to achieve your goals, how to double your time off, setting goals

Thu 10 Sep 2009

9 Gestures to Improve Your Listening Skills

Posted by Faey under Effective Communication Skills, Healthy Relationships, Neat Stuff, Personal Growth
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Consider these mannerisms:

1. Looking into your eyes
2. Smiling frequently
3. Raising eyebrows periodically
4. Grinning at appropriate moments
5. Using expressive hand gestures when speaking
6. Keeping eyes wide open
7. Licking lips
8. Tilting head
9. Leaning toward you

This person shows interest in you and what you’re saying. In addition, the active listener usually acknowledges the speaker verbally as well with such comments as “I see,” “Uh-huh,” “Mmmm,” or “Really?”

When you acknowledge the other person both verbally and nonverbally, you build trust and increase rapport. And you’ll probably learn something, too!

[This excerpt was taken from "Dr. T's Timely Tips" by Dr. Tony Alessandra.]