Unleash the Authentic Woman in You – Faey Szeuw

I was walking around the mall… And you know those independent merchant carts… They’re always luring unsuspected suckers in for free samples. I noticed I feel obligated to buy things after trying the free thing. Eeehhh, huh?

Surprisingly, after taking a deep look into my history of buying junk, I discovered I buy BECAUSE of this “law of reciprocity”. Someone gives me a free sample, then I feel like I HAVE to buy something from them.

How many times have you bought something that you didn’t really want but felt obligated? You just didn’t want to seem like you were inconveniencing them…

I fell prey to this technique one too many times. I ended up with restaurant meals I wasn’t entirely satisfied with – Clothes and shoes I didn’t want – Costly natural nail polish – Mineral makeups – More than enough memberships at places I didn’t really need – Books I didn’t read – Things I didn’t even use!

I remember one time where I was strolling around the mall with my fiance… I knew I would buy something if I had my credit cards with me so I left them at home and only had a twenty in my pocket.

Surprisingly, after this salesgirl gave me all this attention and being dabbled by all this new exotic Japanese cosmetic elixir that claimed to make my skin smoother, younger, beautiful and flawless…

I looked at my fiance and ask to borrow HIS card! Of course, I paid him back. But isn’t that just ridiculous! Ended up charging $157.37 dollars on HIS visa!

With knowing my kryptonite (free stuff), I can be more aware of these traps. So now I am actually practicing saying more “NO’s”. It’s a bit of a challenge but I feel good.

It’s nice to have values (and not personally step on them). I can still change my mind.

So beware of FREE. You might end up with your values tangling you up inside.

If you do get tangled up… Remember most decisions can be revised (especially if someone’s trying to sell you stuff).

What better way to conquer your fear than to face it head on.

Confession: I’m not entirely fearful of heights but I get a bit light around very tall building; especially hanging on the very edge of a 37th floor building!

It was like this for me when my fiance, sister, and I went on the SkyWalk. SkyWalk is a tourist attraction, where people can walk outside around the perimeter of the 37th floor of Crown Regency Hotel in Cebu, Philippines.

Being a brave soul that I am , I volunteered to be in front. Reason one being… no big heads or anyone is blocking my view up here. Just kidding! Any how, it was a bit frightening as I step outside onto the thin metal pathway. I can feel the height and the breeze blowing lightly against my body. (Thank goodness it is not a windy day.)

As I pass through the glass part of the pathway, I glanced down to view below. People were like ants and cars were like miniature toy that little boys play with. My heart beat faster and I could feel a bit of perspiration on my forehead.

Quite interestingly, once we finish the SkyWalk which only lasted 15 minutes; I felt disappointed it was over. I actually wanted to go one more round.

Much like our life, sometimes we just gotta face our fears heads on. Like the famous Les Brown quote, “When you face your fear, most of the time you will discover that it was not really such a big threat after all. We all need some form of deeply rooted, powerful motivation. It empowers us to overcome obstacles so we can live our dreams.”

What’s inner game versus outer game? Authentic Man Program’s (AMP) co-founder, Bryan Bayer breaks down the difference by using the image of the Celtic tree. The Celtic tree is an ancient symbol of wholeness that illustrates the relationship between “who we are” (inner game) and “how we show up” (outer game).

AMP says, “These days, a lot of guys are studying the art pickup. And, if those pickup/outer game skills aren’t connected to a solid foundation of inner game, those men will never create relationship as wild, sexy and fulfilling as they can truly be.”

AMP adds, “Even if your outer game is masterful it is a only a matter of time before any woman will see who you are at the roots. You can’t hide it and you can’t fake it. And the more radiant the woman is the faster she will see right down to the base of it often instantly.”

Such an amazing explanation!

Recently I went to a concert to see Boyce Avenue, Jabbawockeez, and Kris Allen at MusicFest 2010 in Cebu, Philippines. Boyce Avenue’s lead singer, Alejandro Manzano really carried himself self well. He showed up incredibly sexy. I said to myself, “This guy’s got inner game going on! Wow!”

When Kris Allen performed…he didn’t have it. As talented as Kris is, he felt hollow to me. He needs to do more inner work and build his foundation. Won American Idol but he’s not showing up as a grounded solid guy. Not attractive compared to Boyce Avenue’s Alejandro who’s roots just over shadowed Kris. It was such a contrast I even left after Kris sang his first couple songs!

When we start chasing things outside ourself, it’s easy to ignore our roots. Then it becomes even more challenging to attract the people we want to attract. Remember: We’re drawn towards the healthy trees – strong and grounded. We ignore the weak ones with flimsy roots.

Listen, if you’re a man reading my blog to learn about women… You can’t hide your roots with outer game – shiny objects and pick up techniques. If your foundation is weak and unstable, your house is going to crumble no matter how beautiful you decorate the exterior! Like a strong house, we must work on ourself from our foundation – our roots – if we want lasting change. Men and women, when we take care of our emotions our genuine self can shine into the world.

Ever come across someone who seems to have their stuff together. Fancy clothes, nice house, nice car, nice looking but as you hang out with them more and more… The person just doesn’t seem in alignment. Like a car that keeps veering to the right when you’re trying to go straight. They seem perfect but something is off. Of course no one is perfect (we all have stuff to sort through). But you can tell if someone is handling their life or it’s just pretense – a veneer.

These people are stuck pretending. The more you pretend to be something you’re not, the more likely you have stuff to work on. In other words, more inner game or inner work will help you let your authentic self shine through.

Take someone like Hugh Jackman for example. He is an Australian actor and producer who is involved in film, musical theatre, and television. He’s also an activist and philanthropist. A very well-rounded guy.

Just one look at him. His foundation is pretty well built. More solid than most. That’s an example of how you’ll show up in the world when you’ve handled your inner game. Very attractive, right?

I was listening to an intriguing audio program by Mark Cunningham (aka Major Mark); one of the best hypnotist. It’s titled, “Build a Better Girlfriend.” My first reaction was, what’s this? What kind of stuff are men –more precisely ‘my man’ going to use on me.

Curious and a little bit defensive when I saw this program. I had to check it out. If anything, I want to protect myself in case this Major Mark was up to no good and teaching guys how to manipulate their girlfriends.

To my surprise, it turned out to be an amazing course. Basically, Major Mark teaches men how to make their women truly happy. That is by listening and really being there for her. In return, she’ll feel appreciated, noticed, and heard. That she’ll want to reciprocate this love and appreciation for him by pleasing him. That makes since, right?

Make the women happy as a clam. Treat her right. Notice she is another person with her own set of goals and values. Acknowledge her. Appreciate her. Cherish her. And in return, she’ll want to cherish and do things for you as a man.

Great news ladies, this same technique or should I call “just the proper way of treating your girlfriend” works just as good on how to build a better boyfriend.

Although I must warn you, that this audio is more targeted for men than women. But a curious woman can just be as entertain listening to this audio course as men.

It has some interesting new concepts and techniques; thus, giving your brain a boost of new ideas and experiences. Keeping your life fresh and full of new adventures.

Single? Listen up. This might help. These little neat ideas is not mine, I’m sharing it because I think it will put the clue back in the clueless mind for those who haven’t come to this realization yet.

You could use it or discard it. What ever you choose, you are the master of your own universe. If you see it’ll help you out on attracting a better girlfriend, by all mean try it out.

These 2 simple tips alone will create miracles in your love life.

A few things I’ve learned from Authentic Man Program (AMP) is the power of presence work wonders. It helps you stay aware and present in whatever you do. It takes practice to hone this skill. Just like learning to ride a bike, it’ll take many attempts before you become comfortable and skilled at it. Presence essentially helps you stay in your body and enjoy the moment as it happen. I guess you can say, keep your mind quiet and still. Whether it is for dating or for your daily life, staying present and grounded is an attractive attribute to women –actually to everyone.

Have you ever talked to someone and their attention is everywhere. Distracted and can’t even focus on the conversation or the experience at the moment. Their eyes wander and their mind seems far off somewhere.

A man who can master his own mind; bring awareness and presence into his being is considered a rare commodity for women. Definitely, becoming more aware and present is of a great value. We (women) know and can pick a solid guy out from a mile away. It’s extremely attractive and undeniably sexy!

Second thing that bring wonders to your life is to stay appreciative. What is appreciation? Here’s what Authentic Man Program has to say about it, “Most guys think Appreciation is saying nice things. This couldn’t be farther from the truth. In fact, ‘Creating Profound Connections‘ has absolutely nothing to do with even being nice. It’s all about building a strong, deep level of rapport… an emotional connection that you cannot fake. ”

Everyone wants to be appreciated and acknowledged. You can start to practice appreciation by being thankful for the small things in your life. Stay in gratitude for what you have and not what you don’t have.

Man, do they work like magic. People can feel when you are being genuinely appreciative of them. Their faces will light up and smiles will start to appear. It’s contagious.

When you stay in the state of appreciation, most women will reciprocate your state of emotion and shoot back those same great feeling. It’s a great feeling at both ends. And 99% of the time you’ll get back a warm smile.

Have you ever got a genuine sincere acknowledgment from a person. They say it in such a way that you know it is from their heart. They really meant it and not just one of those generic, “Thank you. Come again.” from the cashier’s mouth. You can somehow always tell the difference.

Practice these two new habits and master them. You will not only attract a better mate but bring more fun into your life. You’ll turn many frowns around. Stay grounded in who you are. And bring quality experiences into your life far more than just the original intended goal of acquiring a girlfriend.

The only downfall is these 2 simple new habits take time to be integrated into your life. Even for me, I am still working on ‘staying present and being appreciative.’ It’s really a daily practice. You actually have to do it and gain the experience –for you to truly understand and incorporate it into your life.

Learn it, KNOW it, walk it, and you’ll be surprise how much more amazing your life can get.

As we wake up to each day. Remember to stay appreciative of the gifts we receive. Just being alive and granted this time –this very moment itself is a joy to be grateful for. Staying appreciative for all the small things makes life so much sweeter. So much more fulfilling. Always smile for the life. Live and Love.

Got bad habits you need to break? Helpful article from T Mcdonald showing you 5 simple steps to changing an unwanted habit.

Breaking Bad Habits – 5 Simple Steps for Changing a Habit

By T Mcdonald

“Good habits are hard to develop but easy to live with” and “Bad habits are easy to develop but hard to live with”, according to Brian Tracy, a well-known motivational teacher. You may recognize that to successfully manage habit changes, breaking bad habits may be required in order to develop new ones.

Breaking bad habits takes at least 21 days. Of course, in difficult cases, it can take as long as a year. Here’s an example of the process of how to change an unhealthy habit to a healthy habit. Suppose you’ve decided that coffee is not good for you and right now, you drink coffee with sugar daily. The new habit you would like to institute is to drink herbal tea without sugar.

At first, it may be challenging to break the bad habit of drinking coffee. You will have to use self-discipline for the first few weeks but gradually it will get easier. Once you are able to change the old habit to a new healthier one, it will serve you very well. Habits are remarkable because they don’t require thinking. You just “do it” for years until you find yourself changing the habit again.

Here are 5 easy steps for changing habits:

1. Awareness: You must become aware of your habits. What is this habit exactly? How is this bad habit or group of bad habits affecting you? How is this habit affecting others? For example, smoking often has negative effects on others as well as on you.

2. Wanting to Change: As someone with a health problem, you must decide that breaking bad habits through a conscious effort is a worthy goal. You must convince yourself that the change in the habit is worth the effort involved.

3. Commitment: You must be determined to do whatever it takes for breaking bad habits so that you can better control your life. You make a decision that “no matter what” you will change the habit. You do the work required to stop. Here are some examples of habits you might want to change: Smoking, eating too much, eating processed foods, not exercising, drinking coffee or other beverages with caffeine in them, eating too much sugar or fat, drinking alcohol, procrastinating, etc.

4. Consistent Action: It is important to focus on changing just one habit at a time. Then, take consistent daily actions for breaking the bad habit that has been causing problems and take the actions to develop a new one. We suggest doing this process one step at a time rather than trying to do it all at once. Sometimes changing a habit can be done “cold turkey” like smoking and sometimes it works better to make a gradual change.

Be sure to give yourself positive rewards often for taking small actions toward changing a bad habit. Continual day-by-day actions are what are critical. This is NOT about an occasional action or step. It is about being consistent every day.

5. Perseverance: There will be times when you question whether it is all worth it. You’ll say to yourself that breaking these bad habits is too difficult; that you are too “weak” to change. Your old self, often so comfortable living with the bad habits, is trying to hold on. Breaking your old patterns may require meditation and prayer.

Visualize regularly the rewards for following through and the costs of not following through on breaking the bad habits and especially the value to your future of building new better habits.

Get support from others, especially other people who want to make changes in their lives and read about people who have been successful in breaking bad habits. Affirm that, no matter what, you will not backslide into your old bad habit patterns.

Now, you are armed with a 5-step process for breaking any bad habit or other condition that requires changing. If you have an addiction to something such as alcohol, these steps alone may not be enough. You may require additional professional help or a support group, but for most cases this 5-step process will do the trick!

T. McDonald is a lifelong student of inner growth and a writer. She edits Diabetes Guide where you will find information on the glycemic index diet, weight loss, diets, managing diabetes, alternative sweeteners, breast cancer bracelets, how to prevent breast cancer and much more.

Copyright 2005 T. McDonald